Meet the Hotties
Hot Mess (A/The)
Aka. Bec Vinson
She’s the CEO of functional mayhem, a cyclone of fierce failures & the reason the glue stick’s empty and the clinic is booked out.
She flaunts her flaws like they’re couture, because they are.
Superpowers
- Functional and lifestyle medicine QUEEN! – Her throne? A stack of pathology reports and a weighted blanket.
- Alphabet soup of qualifications – Qualified rehabilitation counsellor, clinical nutritionist, remedial therapist, personal trainer, wellness coach and scientist with a load of additional training in biochemistry and functional pathology interpretation.
- Hard-core science geek – Will ruin dinner parties with facts about your gut lining.
- Aspiring neuroplastician and lover of all things psychiatry – Rewiring brains is her forte – especially her own.. on a loop.
- Birther of child, grower of stepchild, adorer of grandchild.
Fabulous Flaws
- Driven to destruction – Hustle hard.. cry in the car.
- Breakdown babe – Has had more spiritual awakenings than hot dinners.
- Mid life crisis in progress – Might cut her hair. Might start a cult. Stay tuned.
- Certified HOT MESS! – And proud of it. She built an empire from rock bottom.
COCO (Miss/The)
Aka. Amy
She’s the creative director of the shit show – Aka. The glue gun in diamonds holding it barely together.
Depending on the day—and the size of the disaster, she shifts titles like she changes handbags:
Her ‘COCO’ Meaning Matrix
Aka. Mood-dependent management titles
1. Chief Overwhelm & Couture Officer – When she’s barely coping but still couture. Fashion-first. Function? Pending.
2. Commander of Chaos Operations – When the team’s in flames and she’s got the glitter. She runs the meltdown like a runway.
3. Chronically Overbooked, Chronically Over It – When her Google Calendar is a war crime. She’s not ignoring you. She’s just dissociating.
4. Chic Officer of Complete Overload – When she’s giving “yes girl” but meaning “please no”. She’s spiralling, but make it stylish.
Her Signature Look: Red lip. Slick hair. Low tolerance… She does it all in Chanel.
Her Tagline:
“Don’t be like the rest of them, darling.”
… Because she isn’t. She’s COCO.
Spicy Disaster (A/The)
Aka. Eden
Superpowers
- 100% professional make-up artist.
- 80% hairdresser.
- Queen of all things fantasy, spice and disguise.
- Unapologetically unique, perfectly misaligned.
Fabulous Flaws
- A little unhinged.
Beautiful Chaos (Miss)
Aka. Ella
Superpowers
- One word – YOUTH!
Fabulous Flaws
- One word – YOUTH!